Relationship Guru Gifts

Scenes from a successful marriage.

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"I've never forgiven him for that thing I made up in my head."

"It may surprise you to know that, contrary to your experience, you're actually very happily married."

'She loves me, she loves me not...' 'Good grief, why is he dragging ME into this?'

How to understand your wife...

"We can't agree on a size."

"Of course I'm listening. I'm in a heightened state of alert."

'You told me you'd spend your whole life trying to make me happy.' 'I didn't expect to live this long.'

"And do you take Goldie, to be your lawfully wedded primary caregiver?"

"I'm not trying to change you—I'm trying to enhance you."

"It's like you haven't heard a single thing I've thought."

'Can we swap glasses? It might help me see your point of view!'

"When you said we needed to talk, you didn't say I needed to listen."

'I've decided that instead og becoming a new me this year, I'll just get a new you!'

"I've been a cow all my life, honey. Don't ask me to change now."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'I don't feel like rubbing your back. Set your phone to 'vibrate,' place it on your back and I'll call you.'

"What do you mean we don't communicate? I texted you last week."

'You have to learn how to communicate. Buy a pair of texting mobile phones and use them.'

"Before we get too deeply involved..."

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

'We need to talk....' - 'Oh no.'

'If you run into trouble, give my brother a call. He's an excellent divorce lawyer.'

"Let me interrupt your expertise with my confidence."

"Know what I think?"

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"Talk to me, Alice. I speak woman."

What do men/women/humans want?

'You're not listening to me!'

'There's so little understanding. Why can't we all just get along?' 'Get a long what?'

'Do you think we need more conversation in our relationship?'

'Oh no, Mr. Know-it-all isn't going to stop and ask for directions! Admit it - we're lost.'

"Clearly, there are things we really should have discussed sooner!"