Relationship Guru T-Shirts

Scenes from a successful marriage.

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"I've never forgiven him for that thing I made up in my head."

"It may surprise you to know that, contrary to your experience, you're actually very happily married."

How to understand your wife...

'She loves me, she loves me not...' 'Good grief, why is he dragging ME into this?'

"We can't agree on a size."

"Of course I'm listening. I'm in a heightened state of alert."

'You told me you'd spend your whole life trying to make me happy.' 'I didn't expect to live this long.'

"And do you take Goldie, to be your lawfully wedded primary caregiver?"

"I'm not trying to change you—I'm trying to enhance you."

"It's like you haven't heard a single thing I've thought."

'Can we swap glasses? It might help me see your point of view!'

'One second she's saying how sweet I am. The next, she's biting my head off.'

"When you said we needed to talk, you didn't say I needed to listen."

"I've been a cow all my life, honey. Don't ask me to change now."

'I've decided that instead og becoming a new me this year, I'll just get a new you!'

What wives say...what husbands hear...

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

"What do you mean we don't communicate? I texted you last week."

'I don't feel like rubbing your back. Set your phone to 'vibrate,' place it on your back and I'll call you.'

'You have to learn how to communicate. Buy a pair of texting mobile phones and use them.'

"Before we get too deeply involved..."

'We need to talk....' - 'Oh no.'

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"Know what I think?"

'If you run into trouble, give my brother a call. He's an excellent divorce lawyer.'

"Talk to me, Alice. I speak woman."

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'

What do men/women/humans want?

"Let me interrupt your expertise with my confidence."

'You're not listening to me!'

'He said I'm a horse's ass.'