Relationship Dynamics Ponderer Gifts

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Awkward First Dates

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Max Weber

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

"When I take your arm Charlene, there's no need to flex."

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Monogamy

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."