Relationship Dynamics Explorer Gifts

What wives say and what husbands hear.

'I believe there are no bad leaders, only bad followers.'

"My boyfriend is insanely jealous. He does nothing all day but watch cartoons and plot revenge on any other men I talk to."

A woman reads "Men's Fault" magazine.

'I didn't forget your birthday, but everyone else remembered and I didn't want you to think I was just jumping on the bandwagon!'

'When Jack became immortal, something went out of our marriage.'

'Diana! I was only referring to business when I talked about outsourcing.'

'We didn't like to disturb him.'

"...and do you, Melissa, promise to wear flats, and only flats, for as long as you both shall live?"

'He distracts easily, it's his attention deficit disorder.'

'We like to hire married men because they're used to taking orders.'

'You're so suspicious Jim, of course I'm staying home to wash my hair, like I told you!'

"It's your tallyman. He's tallied your bananas."

"My boyfriend is the son my parents always wanted."

"It is not you. It is we."

Lateral thinking...thought bubble bypassing wife's head.

'Apparently, she wears the pants in the family.'

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

'He's getting a cold. . . He's not feeling well, Ma.'

'We were making love. He compared it to market share and I snapped.'

Eyeholes in the Newspaper.

"You've left me no choice. I'm calling in a Husband Whisperer."

The army and the church are in love with each other

'He was the boss in his family...and he had his wife's permission to say so!'

"So you want to marry my daughter...can you ever feed a family, young man?"

'What's Fred doing here, and why is he so happy?", "His wife gave him the evening off for good behavior.'

"I dated his father for a few months. No biggie."

"You look a lot better without your glasses."

"Sup? Rayna, can you be my science project next week?"

"We haven't had a quarrel in ages...have you been arguing with someone else?"

Pat's husband didn't understand the concept of putting the seat down.

"My wife's a feminist, she complains about ALL men, not just me."

"First I had to give you a rib. Now you want me to lend you a hand?"

"I don't know when she disappeared... I didn't notice she was gone until yesterday!"

"Try choking up on it a little bit."