Relationship Dynamics Ponderer Pillows

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

'I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, Frank!'

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

Awkward First Dates

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Max Weber

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"When I take your arm Charlene, there's no need to flex."

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

Monogamy

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"