Relationship Ponderer Pillows

"So that's your final answer."

"Let's not ruin this moment by enjoying it."

He gave her a big bear hug. The kind that says, I love you, I'll never leave you, I'm possessive, needy and insecure.

'She won't even go out with me. How can I get her to marry me?'

'I'll never understand women.' - 'Even if you did you wouldn't believe it.'

"My girlfriend just finished with me. She said she wants 'a more long-term relationship'."

Ingratitude.

"I just don't understand women."

'How bad do I want a girlfriend?'

"I think my wife is having an affair, I found aftershave in our bathroom."

'Since you've been in here, I just sit at home. I barely talk to our friends anymore and I haven't been out in weeks... you just wouldn't understand.'

"To tell you the truth Maureen, on our first date I was hoping things would progress a little less slowly"

'The night sky is forever shifting and changing, much like my interest in girls.'

'Would you love me even if I wasn't fat?'

Daisy Bates and Harry Morant.

'Long time, no she.'

"No, his phone line is fine. Maybe he just doesn't love you anymore."

"Oh god! Everybody knows I'm single!"

'Gregory, do you suppose our relationship could be too meaningful?'

'What's happened to the romance in our marriage, John?'

Marriage helper.

'It's not that I hate ALL men. Just the lowlifes I'm instinctively attracted to.'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

Why do friends come and go while enemies accumulate?

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

'Do I take this to mean, then, that your role as a 'fishing widow' has ended?'

'I'm leaving you Gordon, and I'm taking all the user names and passwords with me.'

"If you were the only man in the world, and I were the only woman. . . would we still have to diet?"

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

"Well, if I'm 'the fairest of them all' how come I can't get a boyfriend?"

"I really like you, Grizzo, but I'm not ready to hibernate."

"Mum came home when dad was having a stroke, so she's shacked the Au-Pair."

"The last one was clearly incompatible - she didn't think a shelled walnut resembled a human brain."

"Do you ever think of getting married?"

"Baldo...I...I don't know what to say."