Family Dynamics Ponderer Gifts

"It's not nepotism if I'm the best son for the job."

The Seedless Watermelon Family

Adult filmstrips

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

Polygamists' Picnic

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

He wanted a different one.

"Having nannies really changes you."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."