Family Ponderer Gifts

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Death coach..."

'Mom says she has a souffl

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

Baxter finally gets a life

'Confusionism'

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

'Well, great! I raise you to be a vicious bird of prey, and you wanna be a songbird!'

"Last time I saw you, you were just a baby."

"In a former life, I was exactly the same."

Wally dozes off in the middle of his mid-life crisis.

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

'How many are just staying together for the kids? Ok, that's good, very good.'