Family Business Ponderer Gifts

'You're never going to follow me in my trade, Son - you may as well go to university.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

'In the interest of spending more time with my children, I've put Bobby and Emily in charge of corporate strategy.'

'Don't worry, Dad. I'm going to turn this company around 360 degrees!'

If business gets any worse I'll have to start laying off relatives.

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

Personnel. I figure since every boss tells you to forget everything you learned in school, not learning anything to begin with puts me ahead of the pack.

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

"Hmmm...impressive CV! Y'know, I have a feeling that you'll go far in this company...."

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

"No, Dad. All this belongs to me right now. I acquired it in a hostile takeover."

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'My kids don't understand me.'

'Where did we go wrong?'

'What do you mean you don't want to be a model? Just what do you plan to do with the rest of your life?'

'Of course, we're family-owned & operated in India.'

'I handed over my company to my son and he's doing better than I ever did. Unfortunately he's starting school next year...'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

Future Micro MGR.

"Clean your specs, lady?"

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

Are we going to raise her as a cat person or a dog person?

'There's no need for you to state your opinion, son. Just lipsynching mine will do fine.'

"We don't know the meaning of the word nepotism in my firm. My son over there will back me up on that."

'He was raised by sparrows!'

"I brought you up here today, son, because I wanted you to get a feel for the scope of this damned thing."

'It's a terrific family business: We have about 53 staff-members...'