Workplace Ponderer Gifts

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'We need to have a shake-up!'

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

'Leave my biscuit in my in-tray. I'll deal with it in the morning.'

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

Max Weber

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"When I said you're doing a hell of a job, Krueger, I didn't mean it as a compliment!"

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

"We lose more productivity to viral internet memes than we do to actual viruses."

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

GDP and G&T.

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Caption Contest TK

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"