Relationship Dynamics Fans Gifts

'You got a raise in your pay packet last month...Didn't your wife tell you?'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

'I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, Frank!'

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Awkward First Dates

A child as a pet substitute.

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"We need to have a serious talk."

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"When I take your arm Charlene, there's no need to flex."

Monogamy