Relationship Dynamics Fan Gifts

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"Wait - I can explain!"

"Damn, you are smooth."

'I asked him if he had any security and he said social security!'

'You can call it oral tradition if you want to, but I still say it's gossip!'

'Before and after a hair replacement treatment.'

'Hi honey! I'm home. What's for dinner? Let me repeat that...' (House appears empty).

'And now for the second opinion.'

"Of course I haven't been drinking, you big fat tub of lard."

'Just tell her you're meeting me in the Crown for a drink, whether she likes it or not!'

Maud got a belly button stud.

'I put the bins out.' - 'Hold on, I just need to finish a really important e-mail.' - '*whine*' - 'Okay, okay! Who's a good boy, then?!' - 'Me! I am!'

'Humans are so strange ... they think eating crow is humiliating.'

'I'll go out with you if you lose the ponytail.'

'You can't keep rescuing him. If he really wants help, book him an appointment.'

Marriage Verite

"Oh, it's you. I thought you'd grown up already."

'It's sweet of you, Mister Spagthorpe but I'm not looking for a sugar grandaddy!'

Wife tells husband in hospital 'It's always about you'.

Quirk of Evolution favouring the female of the species.

'You want me take ANOTHER shower? I took one of those last week!'

'I don't deserve you? Listen, NOBODY deserves you!'

'I warned you not to throw in our old holiday currency.'

'That wasn't Usain Bolt, it was my husband going to the pub.'

Well, looks like I'm sleeping on the couch tonight - She put up the mosquito netting.

Gloria called. She was angry with you. I made the anger go away. Now she's livid.

"Did you say something?" "That was last night!"

"You are really going to like Charles. He's my favourite ex-boyfriend."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Please, could you lose the hindsight, just for today?"

"Well, darn, Ted, I just can't stay mad at you."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"