Relationship Dynamic Enthusiast Gifts

'D'you call this drifting apart?'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Paint pots in love

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

Urns in love

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

Growing Love

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

"When I take your arm Charlene, there's no need to flex."

Hold on

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

What are you doing? You promised we'd watch it together!

Love

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

"My wife - is she still staring at me?"

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

'Not an orgasm, just the bed springs, I'm afraid.'

"Too desperate?"

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

"I'm looking for a man who has an unwavering character, except when he's talking to me."

'Now then, let me explain the rules of this therapy.'