Reiki Gifts

'I'm always pleased to meet my daughters college friends Alan. I hear you're studying alternative medicine? Reiki or acupuncture?'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

First aid in mountains

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

I'm carrying a tiki torch for you!

Easter Island moai as cocktails.

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

It must be December again -- I just had a vision of sugarplums.

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

Traumatology.

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

Medical Arts Building

"And for that pain deep down in your soul, I'm going to prescribe the saxophone."

'The Big Kahuna!'

'Is there any chance you have been in close contact with a Baritone?'

"Thirty-seven years up here and my ears STILL pop!"

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

'Has it occurred to you you might be suffering from negative self image?'

'The secret to happiness is to stay away from low-lying coastal areas which are most susceptible to storms from global warming.'

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'I have to say I had a different impression of what Reiki is all about.'

Paediatric medicine

"I said... he doesn't pay me any attention any more!"

'The best advice for new teachers is to listen to students with your ears and your heart.'

'Just in case I forget it, I keep my mantra on my Ipod.'

"It's such a nice day!"

"This is my son the non-traditional healer."

'I feel bad for kids trying to break into business now. It's hard to get a head these days!'

'I don't know anything about Nirvana - I came up here to DIET.'

'Oh wow! Bad karma!'

'I'm not a guru. I came up here just to get away from electric power lines.'

"My opinion about modern music? Man, I thought they stopped making music when the Beatles broke up!"

'Well, that's what we get for listening to reason.'