Alternative Medicine Guru Gifts

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Self help acupuncture

Hot Pie Therapy

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

'I told you nothing was out of joint but your nose.'

The New Age Dentist.

"Malachite promotes inner peace, hope and security, but I can’t say for certain it will help you put up with your boss."

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 chocolate truffles in the evening should cure your broken heart.'

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

Acupuncture clinic