Reiki T-Shirts

'I'm always pleased to meet my daughters college friends Alan. I hear you're studying alternative medicine? Reiki or acupuncture?'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

First aid in mountains

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

I'm carrying a tiki torch for you!

Easter Island moai as cocktails.

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

Traumatology.

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

Medical Arts Building

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

"And for that pain deep down in your soul, I'm going to prescribe the saxophone."

'The Big Kahuna!'

'Is there any chance you have been in close contact with a Baritone?'

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'Has it occurred to you you might be suffering from negative self image?'

"Thirty-seven years up here and my ears STILL pop!"

'The secret to happiness is to stay away from low-lying coastal areas which are most susceptible to storms from global warming.'

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'

Paediatric medicine

"It's such a nice day!"

'I feel bad for kids trying to break into business now. It's hard to get a head these days!'

'The best advice for new teachers is to listen to students with your ears and your heart.'

'I don't know anything about Nirvana - I came up here to DIET.'

'Just in case I forget it, I keep my mantra on my Ipod.'

"This is my son the non-traditional healer."

"I said... he doesn't pay me any attention any more!"

'Oh wow! Bad karma!'

'Well, that's what we get for listening to reason.'

'I'm not a guru. I came up here just to get away from electric power lines.'

"When I looked in the mirror this morning, Bill, I realized I no longer knew or respected the man I saw there. And after the initial shock wore off, it hit me: I CAN WORK WITH THIS!"