Energy Healing Gifts

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Self help acupuncture

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Sigmund Freud.

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Unguided imagery

Yoga classes door.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Advances in Third World Healthcare

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

"When you're ready, I'm going to stand on my hind legs, and lick it better."

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

Set of scales with white family on one side and black people on the other.

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

Broken Heart

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Here, try this."

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

Traumatology.

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

Psychiatry visit.

Guru Greg's Soul Repair