Regulations Rebel Gifts

"What a gloriously sunny day...! I must get in the garden and burn something..."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"We won!"

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

How Many It Takes

An astronaut sees a sign saying zoning in force.

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

'That's our corporate ladder.'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'

'You forgot the product label.'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

'The government is keen not to interfere with private enterprise.'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'It's from the Federal Trade Commission -- we have to put in a non-smoking section.'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

The New Square Mile Regulator.

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."