Regulation Realist Gifts

'Sorry to disturb you, only I can't come down the chimney anymore due to new health and safety regulations!'

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'

"I'm not particular, I'll take any job that will replace a human."

'The government is keen not to interfere with private enterprise.'

'Dalrymple came to us from the public sector.'

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

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"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

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