Regret Connoisseur Gifts

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

"Their entire friendship is based on regret over property they SHOULD have bought when it was affordable."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'Time to buy.'

'Love me little, love me long.'

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

In, Out, Complain.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

Complaints departement for men and women.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

Moliere

'I could have made money in the stock market if I had only found the right 'How to invest' book...'

Charles Dickens.

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

C Day Lewis.

Bleak House

"Once again, nobody's happy A true whine-whine situation."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Moanathon.

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."