Regal Reposer Pillows

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'I never dreamed the 'equal work for equal pay' bill would apply to me!'

"I say we move on to dessert."

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Henry, sire, do you think having you're wife's name tattooed on your chest is a good idea?

Emperor Trump and Sultan Erdogan

'Dad, have you ever thought about retiring and going in for volunteer work?'

' Look Philip. Even after fifty years I can still get into my coronation dress.'

'We only stay together for the sake of the Holy Roman Empire.'

'Go on then.....Rule!'

The King's New Robes.

'The chef says the closest thing he has to 'four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie' is quiche.'

God save the Queen.

Prince

'He abdicated his throne and got into software.'

'What's all this I've been hearing about 'future deficits'?'

'Sorry about the economy, but I never was very good at story problems.'

Dear Diary...Royal Diary

'They're called 'ladies in waiting,' not 'those broads downstairs'!'

A king returns to his throne to find his dog sitting on it wearing his crown.

"I've decided to take on a more ambassadorial role, here are some leaflets on the importance of humour within the workplace..."

"It's still the red-carpet treatment, even if it's only remnants."

'Because the seniority system is traditional, that's why!'

'When others are around, I'm Henry V ... not Hank.'

"Things have been quiet for some time in your line of work."

'Some other king called while you were out -- he said it was important.'

'To his credit, he only oppresses the masses when there's nothing good on TV.'

King has long walk to castle.