Reflection Aficionado Gifts

Why, thank you - it's very kind of you to say so. You look good too.'

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Phones 4 U

"It's hard to decide. I look the same in all of them."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"The overthinker"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"It's going over the top? D' you realise what you've just said?"

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Your problems are all in your head, Al. This time you're wrong, doctor. I happen to be lying on my keys. The problem is not in my head. It's in my left buttock.

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

'I wouldn't advise you to write your autobiography. It would be a very dull read.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

"I do feel like my old self, but I want to feel like my young self!"

Portrait artist drawing DNA patterns.

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

Caterpillar Paranoia

Psychiatry. I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over! An "emotional baggage carousel"!

'I never forget a face.'

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

"Oh, that's my cousin. I'm the Bluebird of Mid-Life Existential Despair!"