Redhead Wannabe Gifts

Dying your hair red at home

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'I could have been the next Neil Young, but my ol' man made me take singing lessons.'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

As Seen On TV

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

'It's not just that he plays games all the time, it's the games he plays. He's not playing 'Guitar Hero,' he's playing 'Guitar Sidekick''.

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

In his later years, Redbeard's hearing was to fail him.

"We could start a band."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

'These low energy light sabres take ages to warm up.'

Your Ticket to Fame and Fortune...sold out.

Lost your helmets during the battle, huh? Who's laughing now?

"I wouldn't have smacked you on the butt if I'd known your light saber was in your back pocket."

In-law country

'Thank you. Do you mind if I spray it about like they do on tv?'

Speed Checked by Radar.

Darth/Obi-Wan pillow fight

"We'll stop for a bread, water and toilet break at 11.30... on Tuesday."

'C'mon! -- Let's evolve into Beach Boys!'

NOTICE ME

'This one is for 'World of Warcraft 3,'

"Whoa! Did you check out the redhead?"

Redhead

"So, under 'Hair Color' you wrote 'Infra-Redhead!?!"

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

"I'm Bob, but my friends call me Rusty, on account of my red hair."