Redhead Wannabe Pillows

Dying your hair red at home

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

As Seen On TV

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

"We could start a band."

In his later years, Redbeard's hearing was to fail him.

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Your Ticket to Fame and Fortune...sold out.

In-law country

Speed Checked by Radar.

'Thank you. Do you mind if I spray it about like they do on tv?'

Darth/Obi-Wan pillow fight

"We'll stop for a bread, water and toilet break at 11.30... on Tuesday."

'C'mon! -- Let's evolve into Beach Boys!'

NOTICE ME

"Whoa! Did you check out the redhead?"

Redhead

"So, under 'Hair Color' you wrote 'Infra-Redhead!?!"

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

'Am I losing my way?'