Recreational Humor Gifts

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

"Pass that."

'How now, brown cow?'

'My philosophy is that the bigger you are, the smaller the desk you need.'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'I don't know if she's gonna be much good. I don't think she's even registered.'

"Yeah, I'm a Roadrunner, but it is easier on my feet and joints if I run on the grass..."

Take up karate and learn how to break bricks with your cast.

"Thank God he was wearing a safety helmet."

Ed's Pizza and the Cardiology Clinic.

'I'm going to give you an extra week of vacation just to see if we can get along without you.'

"You're free to range. Just stay away from that Tiffany—she's trouble."

'Well my Mom made me wear it, so she could distinguish me from six when we're jumping.'

"I hear you're worth a fortune."

10 pin bowling cows.

Paint Ball shop has artists painting balls.

"I can build it. My price is 300 oxen and a flock of sheep. A roof would be 250 sheep extra."

'What happened to that loaf I got from the baker?'

Stamp collector with a magnifying glass (colour).

Mein Kamp: Fing Trip

"Hammock"

"Remember, we still have to complain about these beautiful sixty degree days when it turns seventy."

"This summer let's stay close to home."

"Ed woke each morning at dawn to feed his pets, and each morning at dawn, Bruno and Luna frightened Ed. Yaaaaa! Wha? Who's there?!"

Your mower will be returned...and your neighbour will borrow it.

Time-lapse philately

"See, somebody stole my car and left my cheap radio."

Sporting rector cancels meeting so he can shoot

"Packing up and relocating to a new home is a moving experience."

"No, you don't have a fever, so yes you do have to go to school today. . . Remember, you're the teacher!"

"That's some dining fly!"