Recreational Facility Manager Gifts

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'It's a bold initiative but I don't think it's right for the staff kitchen.'

Sick Building Syndrome

Caution signs.

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

Blowing dust off an order book.

Job Safety - Hardhat.

How Many It Takes

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"

Modular Offices

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

How judicious you are/How thin you spread it

"Humans are crazy! Like life is not hard enough in winter, they have to make artificial snow!"

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

"And to think NASA hit a target 11 million kilometres away."

"The redesign has made the waiting room a much more tranquil place..."

Access Assessments

Caution wet floors. . . Caution DRY ceilings.

'Pay outhouse' with a sign that says, 'Drop 25¢ in can.'

'Managing finance is integral to this post. How would you respond to a perfectly reasonable request for extra funds?'

Jack's: clubs straightened, balls retrieved

'Do you think we can afford better toilets?'...

"First, I'd like to know what arrangements your company has for flexitime!"

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

'Come on, you can always fit one more.'

"Who the hell keeps turning up the heat in here!?!"

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

"Out of toner."