Facility Manager Gifts

How Many It Takes

This toilet is thoroughly cleaned once a week. Sadly it's tomorrow.

Caution Wet Floor

"The redesign has made the waiting room a much more tranquil place..."

Access Assessments

'Hey, look, the sprinkler system works.'

"Who the hell keeps turning up the heat in here!?!"

In case of broken glass, break glass.

Caution signs.

'I'm just the CEO. He has the key to the supply closet.'

Launch Sequence Activated

"We think this new layout will encourage people back to the office."

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

'I see the printer is acting up again.'

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

Depending on somebody else to do something right phobia: 'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'

'Since issuing hospital gowns to them we've saved on air-conditioning.'

'Odd as it may seem, it needs oil.'

Caution wet floors. . . Caution DRY ceilings.

Sick Building Syndrome

Hi-maintenance. Hellooo

"The boss was never that good with political correctness."

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the Cheapest Tender."

"We should reload the changer. The Franklins are coming at seven."

"Will sound WHAT? Annoyed? Outraged? Vaguely supportive? Whiny? Happy? Sad? How about a little hint, or is that too much to ask?"

"The good news is that we found extra storage area. The bad news is that it's your office."

Dry floor. Go nuts.

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

Modular Offices

Caution: Wet Floor

Mop up spillages!

'Someone needs to take a look at that dripping tap in the Gents.'

"It works on many levels."

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'