Facilities Manager Gifts

'Come on, you can always fit one more.'

'If only someone had listened when Harry complained about the flourescent lighting!'

"The company simply must do something about the office space problem!"

"Welcome back to work everyone! As you can see, after a year of Covid, we've decided to totally embrace the open office concept!"

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

"It's part of our new workplace ventilation system." (man at desk with a large vent pipe over his head)

'It's a bold initiative but I don't think it's right for the staff kitchen.'

'Do you think we can afford better toilets?'...

"We must move Pipps to a windowless cubicle. As a succulent, he does poorly in direct sunlight."

"Henshaw, before we were all furloughed, did you turn the taps off?"

"When the office went paperless, it didn't mean the washrooms too."

"It can be repurposed for office space without much alteration. I don't think our employees will notice the difference, really."

'In regard to our rodent control problem, all in favor of going with the lowest bid...'

"Out of toner."

'I was well liked before they assigned me to thermostat control.'

'Those combination sink/urinals are great.'

Empty water cooler.

'Hey, if you can't stand the heat, then ... we need to adjust the thermostat in your office.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

History Class Moved to Room 318. The class relocated because of this mess. The pipe breaking was a "history changing" event.

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'I tell you, I don't have a good feeling about this.'

Sick Building Syndrome

"One day son, all this will be run by robots."

Meet the new factory manager.

Caution signs.

Farmers' Warnings.

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

Job Safety - Hardhat.

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

In the future, wars will be fought over water.

How Many It Takes