Records Pillows

"What the hell's going on here ... ?"

'I see you've got a new single coming out.'

Gramaphone Man.

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

'Wait. Let me check the time. ... Yes! It's a new world record!'

'I wonder if the guinness people would be interested in the world's record for the most time spent on hold.'

'Suddenly everyone realised they hated chill out music.'

"Sorry, your meeting's been pushed back...Mr. Smith's only 2,000 from a world record!"

"No, chasing fifteen cats in one day is not a record. . . unless all of the cats were green."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Large print rock'n'roll section

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'Hey Mister Petrie, what's the world's record for tennis balls in a retriever's mouth?'

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"

'Somebody should tell our office manager that a motorized filing cabinet does not qualify as an electronic health record system.'

Groovy Baby

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'Music & Gym'

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

Records?

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."