Record Collectors Pillows

'Oldest living turkey? I'll see if we have that category.'

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

Islington Angels.

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

Large print rock'n'roll section

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Groovy Baby

'Music & Gym'

'Nobody pays for music anymore.'

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

Gramaphone Man.

"The Who used to smash up their instruments after their shows — have you ever considered that?"

Music Freak.

The Music Lover.

'If you've brought us gifts we don't want any more Des O'Connor records!'

Even cowgirls get the blues. 'Well, howdy! I've been lookin' for this here B.B. King album forever!'

'Oh it's fantastic. It's my thirty fourth favourite sub-genre of progressive rock.'

"What the hell's going on here ... ?"

Record department with rock, crossover and classical sections.