Record Keeper Pillows

'I like to puree before I crunch the numbers.'

"Sorry, Elliott, but everything in this file is to be put on microfilm."

Updated History. Is that an explorer and record keeper? Yes, it's "Lewis and Clerk."

"This accident report must be really old, unless he really was 'attacked by ye wilde boare' in the cold meats aisle."

We don't let computers mess up your records. We do it by hand.

"For this one, I wish I'd taken up shorthand!"

Records?

"No, chasing fifteen cats in one day is not a record. . . unless all of the cats were green."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

I love my Timpani

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

It is a lesser known historical fact that Sir Edmund Hillary was also the first person to climb Mount Everest and forget to take the lens cap off.

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

"Why mum, I didn't know that you had written a book."

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

Ginger Baker.

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

The Drummer

Professional woman in pub

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"

'You're always living in the past.'

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

'Somebody should tell our office manager that a motorized filing cabinet does not qualify as an electronic health record system.'

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

Dear Dairy

"I'm taking detailed notes of everything, so I can tell my kids what things were really like when I was their age."

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

'Lost Diary'