Record Keeping Pillows

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

'In your case, we had to assemble a spread sheet.'

File room: A subsidiary of the black hole of the universe

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"You keep impeccable time."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

Sheep Ledger

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

A watch face with Stonehenge

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

Large print rock'n'roll section

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

Gone Bookkeepin'

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

"It's running five minutes fast."

Professional woman in pub

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"If I figure correctly, it's two o'clock, Mountain Time."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

Groovy Baby

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Now I see your problem. You've been using a leaf blower to rake it in."

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"