Record Keeping Gifts

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

'In your case, we had to assemble a spread sheet.'

File room: A subsidiary of the black hole of the universe

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

"You keep impeccable time."

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Sheep Ledger

A watch face with Stonehenge

Large print rock'n'roll section

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

"You know you're getting old when..."

Gone Bookkeepin'

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"It's running five minutes fast."

"If I figure correctly, it's two o'clock, Mountain Time."

Professional woman in pub

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

Groovy Baby

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"