Recognition Ceremony Gifts

Employee of the Month

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'Okay.. what the hell.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Win - win

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

Veterans Day '20

Folk Wedding

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'

'Does my head look big in this?'

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

Oscars

Teacher of the Year: "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"