Recognition Ceremony Gifts

Employee of the Month

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Win - win

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Veterans Day '20

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

Folk Wedding

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'

'Does my head look big in this?'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

GLAD-YOU-ATION

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

Oscars

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."