Recent Loss Gifts

'I buried my husband four months ago...He was dead.'

La Table

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

Man watches sales chart drop through the floor.

"I know. I miss him, too."

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

Broken Heart

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

Months after she broke with the celery, Alice was still being stalked.

"He had a full two weeks."

''On behalf of my colleagues I wanted to let you know that we are all crying inside.''

Pickles the Clown: Son of Bonzo and Gwen. A Pro to the End.

Bob tries to win her back with flowers.

"I need a man who will commit."

"Loved Jamaica!"

'What do you buy the man who has lost everything?'

A grave with an array of beauty products

"Even though the other team scored more point, I'm going to throw a crying fit."

Dan, Carla's interests include brooding over failed relationships and fending off her mother's pleas for grandchildren. Carla, Dan is terrified of commitment and has a negative bank balance."

Men in women's 101

'He has delusions of grandeur. He thinks I'm in love with him.'

"Get with it, darling, Wednesday is the new Friday."

"He was the finest bluesman I knew..."

'Didn't listen to my investor's advice.'

"Have you got anyone on your books who's desperate and doesn't care what I look like?"

'Listen to this one: 'Overweight, wrinkled skin, large ears and nose'... She sounds perfect!'

'Have you considered your x-height?'

Dead Workaholic