Common Loss Gifts

Bad luck Brian! R.I.P.

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Very Difficult Conversations

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"I know. I miss him, too."

Man watches sales chart drop through the floor.

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

'I wish these wings were for more than show.'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

Broken Heart

A rising tide may lift all boats but I sank all my savings in beachfront properties.

"This next one is for Lucy, my huge dead goldfish."

"He had a full two weeks."

Pickles the Clown: Son of Bonzo and Gwen. A Pro to the End.

Dog Statue

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

''On behalf of my colleagues I wanted to let you know that we are all crying inside.''

'What do you buy the man who has lost everything?'

"It's just till I get over our dog running away."

'Your 401 (K) went down the drain, but if it's any consolation, you can keep the commemorative cup.'

"Your husband died from medical malpractice, but it may comfort you to know that brain surgery is always risky...even when the doctor doesn't have a hangover."

You think you're good, eh? Okay, you've got the lost and found windo at the Kleptomaniac's Convention.

"Even though the other team scored more point, I'm going to throw a crying fit."

"You've suffered a loss and you need time to grieve, also, tomorrow the market may turn around."

A grave with an array of beauty products

"He was the finest bluesman I knew..."

'Didn't listen to my investor's advice.'

'So Mr. Smith. . . how exactly are you 'uniquely talented' in the field of shoplifting prevention?'

Good boy! Now roll over and play alive.

Greeting cards: Get Well, Sympathy, Pity.

'I'm very proud of what he achieved during his life.'

'Frankly, Charles, I'm having a hard time handling our investments'.