Dealing With A Loss Gifts

'I'm afraid that your father is dead. Dead as a Dodo.'

Funeral home - You can run, but you can't formaldehyde.

"Your mother says to quit bringing laundry over. She's dead."

'You know how I complained about him always living in the past - well, he's dead in the past.'

'I'm really worried about his soul. One of my handbaskets is missing.'

"When my dad died it was left to me to manage his affairs..."

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

Man watches sales chart drop through the floor.

"I know. I miss him, too."

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

Broken Heart

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

"He had a full two weeks."

In Case of Emergency - Break Glass and take a BIG SWIG!

''On behalf of my colleagues I wanted to let you know that we are all crying inside.''

Pickles the Clown: Son of Bonzo and Gwen. A Pro to the End.

'What do you buy the man who has lost everything?'

A grave with an array of beauty products

"Your husband died from medical malpractice, but it may comfort you to know that brain surgery is always risky...even when the doctor doesn't have a hangover."

"You've suffered a loss and you need time to grieve, also, tomorrow the market may turn around."

'Your 401 (K) went down the drain, but if it's any consolation, you can keep the commemorative cup.'

"He was the finest bluesman I knew..."

'Didn't listen to my investor's advice.'

'I'm very proud of what he achieved during his life.'

Dead Workaholic

Greeting cards: Get Well, Sympathy, Pity.

"I feel like we're drifting apart."

'Frankly, Charles, I'm having a hard time handling our investments'.

"Hey, don't I get a receipt?"

'We're sorry for your loss. but it must be a consolation to know that his death didn't effect our targets.'

"Don't worry, dear, we'll find your wedding ring."

"What makes you think there are going to be layoffs."