Business Loss Gifts

Man watches sales chart drop through the floor.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Very Difficult Conversations

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

Danger Slow Sand.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

Between Offices

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

St. Elmo's fired.

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

"I used to think" if I don't go to work the world will fall apart. . . but it fell apart anyway."