Recent Move Gifts

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

"So, Humberto, you moved to the United States just last month?"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

'Yeah, strictly speaking it's a hole, but I prefer to think of it as a bijou hole.'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Talk about energy efficient...every lightbulb in this house will outlive you!"

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"Welcome."

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

A London gent abroad

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

"it appears I'm being relocated"

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

'I'm getting rid of a lot of crap as move into the next phase of my life...'

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

'Are you two friends?' - 'No, we just hate the same people.'

Home Sweet Home

State of the Union

Realty. Remember

'Face it, you'd be lost without me!'

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

"My biggest concern is adequate closet space."