Receiving Good Medical News Gifts

"The most beautiful words in the English language: not "I love you", but "It's benign"."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

'We don't have the answer, but we're really getting off on the attention.'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

"It's over!"

'Which? Covid-19 Variant' Guide.

'Yes, I suppose I can learn to live with the pain in my foot. After all, I've been living with a pain in the neck for years!'

A man in hospital is exposed to Covid-19

'Stay tuned for a surprising new health study regarding...'

"We find pizza softens the blow of bad news."

'I haven't read the health columns this morning. Is coffee out or in today?'

"We need a product that works like aspirin, but is a lot more expensive to buy."

'You have a parasite, I'm afraid.'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

'Stocks rose on news that random acts of kindness today outnumbered random acts of violence.'

"Which do you want first, the good news that sounds better than it is or the bad news that seems worse than you expected?"

"It's an experimental drug...we're experimenting to see if your health care insurer pays for it."

'Joe gives 'em the bad news, and I give 'em the good news, just like 'good cop - bad cop'!'

'I hope you find something that's worth complaining to my friends about.'

Press reports suggest that caffeine could provide protection against a range of cancers.

'He wants to know where the action is.'

"What do I do? He refuses to sleep on his own."

'We couldn't save him, but we found out what made him tick.'

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'Apparently the owner of the donor hand was a renowed ladies man.'

'You're improving, but your health insurance is wasting away.'

"Apparently reading about cancer can give you cancer!"

'Powerful antioxidants that can promote good health, found in chocolate. Wait, this just in! Harmful saturated fats found in chocolate.'

Happy Man with Phone

"Post and viewing of cat pictures on the internet can cause a corona infection..."