Medical News Gifts

'You're improving, but your health insurance is wasting away.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

'We don't have the answer, but we're really getting off on the attention.'

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

Wards / Mortuary

'Which? Covid-19 Variant' Guide.

"Code blue! Code blue! His heart's grown three times it's size!"

'It's great for reducing White Coat Hypertension.'

'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'

"I just can't sleep with this wrestler's leg syndrome."

'Yes, I suppose I can learn to live with the pain in my foot. After all, I've been living with a pain in the neck for years!'

'Stay tuned for a surprising new health study regarding...'

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

A man in hospital is exposed to Covid-19

'I haven't read the health columns this morning. Is coffee out or in today?'

"We need a product that works like aspirin, but is a lot more expensive to buy."

Geriatrics struggle with a personnel shortage.

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

'You have a parasite, I'm afraid.'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

'I had your court case moved up to tomorrow. I want you to look your best.'

'Try not to make this doctor nervous ? this will be his first operation.'

'I hope you find something that's worth complaining to my friends about.'

"Oh happy days are here again."

"Which do you want first, the good news that sounds better than it is or the bad news that seems worse than you expected?"

"It's an experimental drug...we're experimenting to see if your health care insurer pays for it."

Press reports suggest that caffeine could provide protection against a range of cancers.

"Congratulations, Mrs Foopster!! It's a bouncing baby boy!!"

"In health news, everything you thought was good for you is now bad for you."

"It's not an early warning sign for this year's winter crisis, it's a very VERY early warning sign of NEXT year's."

'We couldn't save him, but we found out what made him tick.'

Osteoporosis Club: You Must Be This Short.