Medical Story Sharer Gifts

'I hope you find something that's worth complaining to my friends about.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

Wanna talk about it?

'I told you that parrot didn't know how to navigate.'

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'Wow! Where'd you come from?'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

“It's a healthy baby boy. And, wow, the mouth on your wife …”

"Code blue! Code blue! His heart's grown three times it's size!"

'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'

'Yes, I suppose I can learn to live with the pain in my foot. After all, I've been living with a pain in the neck for years!'

A man in hospital is exposed to Covid-19

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

"What I did during my summer vacation with my mom's 1,000 free minutes..."

'It appears you've arrived here because of some medical gobbledygook, so, to put it simply, you can now go home.'

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

'You have a parasite, I'm afraid.'

'So tell me more about your mother...'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

'I'm going to administer the anaesthetic.' - 'Okay.' - 'You might feel a little prick in your hand...' - '...as the bishop said to the-' - 'Men are less irritating under anaesthetic.' - 'Zzz...'

"I believe I told you quite clearly not to let his stitches get wet."

'You should consult my Doctor. You'll never live to regret it.'

The results of your brain scan are in

"Anything horrible going on in your life?"

'He wants to know where the action is.'

'We couldn't save him, but we found out what made him tick.'

"A funny thing happened to me at work today..."

Have I told you about my operation?

'You should've been here last night -- a priest, a rabbi, and a minister walked in.'