Reality Tv Hater Gifts

'There are two possibilities: the TV is broken or the media has finally disappeared up its own backside.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Consider this job a reality show where you work your butt off 14 hours a day. If you win, you'll get a paycheck and the chance to do it all over again next week."

"Do you, Halfomild Tellycelebrtipewhoo-hoo, promise to brush up on matters such as the Hadron Collider?"

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

America's funniest election gaffes

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

Prepare yourself, America. Dancing with the Stars is poised to present a new 12-week competition. And you'll never guess who's dancing now! Listen to the passion and fight in our newest celebrity dancer

"Am I through to the next round?"

TV and cleaner

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

'You're not being fired Jenkins. It's just that all our colleagues have booted you out of the company.'

I can now come clean. The person who secretly told me that Mitch McConnell loves Dr. Pimple Popper is … Hold it! Hold it? Commercial break. Nothing' says sexy like cholesterol.

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

'Oh No! Reality theatre.'