Real Estate Wits Gifts

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

"Sold his air rights."

"Mom, could we stay in my old room until we're able to afford a place of our own?"

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Igloo sales

'This is close enough.'

Turtle Home

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

'Well, yes... The cellar IS a bit damp. But therefore the rent is really low!'

'Hi, I'm on the make,'

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

"Central heat. Pretty posh."

The King and His Real Estate Advisors

Don't worry dear, he only bites untrustworthy morgage brokers!

"Where do you get your inspiration?"

"Have you seen the walk-in broom closet?"

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

For Sale By Owner

"Like I told you Gladys: location, location, location."

For Sale

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

'For added curb appeal, I think you should fill the moat.'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

'The meaning of life is location,location,location.'