Real Estate Nerd Gifts

Don't worry dear, he only bites untrustworthy morgage brokers!

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

Emigrating to France.

Mouse real estate!

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"Sold his air rights."

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor