Real Estate Nerd Gifts

Don't worry dear, he only bites untrustworthy morgage brokers!

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

The stages of gentrification: a guide

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"Mom, could we stay in my old room until we're able to afford a place of our own?"

Emigrating to France.

Who Let the Dawg In?

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

"Sold his air rights."

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

Mouse real estate!

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'