Real Estate Jokers Pillows

Couple in sunglasses begging with a sign that reads - 'Holiday Homeless - Please help'.

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"Efficiency tombs available"

'Is the fire included?'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

'I'm not the sitting tenant, I'm your husband.'

"As president of the tenants' association, I have to inform you that our list of grievances has been eaten."

"We figured why not make some money while we migrate south."

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

Real estate.

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'I'm so glad I moved into this basement flat Mary. It's put me on the property ladder and the neighbours are so friendly!'

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

Toughing it out in the real estate game.

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

'With my new promotion, I can move us into a bigger shoe.'