Real Estate Jokes Pillows

'I've come up with a little trick, I'm sure will sell your house for the price you're asking!' - HOW?!!- I'll show it at NIGHT?!!

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

"Efficiency tombs available"

'Is the fire included?'

"We figured why not make some money while we migrate south."

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

"As president of the tenants' association, I have to inform you that our list of grievances has been eaten."

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

Real estate.

Coming Soon- Trump Circle

'I'm so glad I moved into this basement flat Mary. It's put me on the property ladder and the neighbours are so friendly!'

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'But your advert said, Fantastic view.' - 'She's out right now.'

Toughing it out in the real estate game.

'With my new promotion, I can move us into a bigger shoe.'

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

This is our proposal for your new housing development. We've chosen to call it The Meadows.