Real Estate Evaluator T-Shirts

Valuation of Heaven

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'I received matching offers.'

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

'We're looking for a place with no high walls.'

"Not too big a garden-my wife tires easily!"

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

'We have a cash flow problem too. Our problem is that your mortgage payments aren't flowing our way.'

'At least this means we won't need a coal mining search.'

'I won't lie, it can get windy here.'

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

Scientist with model of a house in a test tube.

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

Show house. 'I don't like the house. but your champagne's great.'

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

For Sale, just to find the true value.

"The back of the house? Didn't I already show you that?"

'Office amenities' dangled by 'Leasing agents'