Property Value Analyst T-Shirts

"Leave it, Taffy! That’ll hurt property values!"

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"The government prefers to see it as a flexible, environmentally friendly building option that fits within our current funding projections."

Repossessions

House hunting is cruel.

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

Religion & Economics.

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

"This article says that the number of elderly living with their children is rising..."

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.

“What we have here is an old moral compass. How did it come into your possession?”

Scientist with model of a house in a test tube.

Dadonomics

"Let's begin with an x-ray of your portfolio."

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

'Look, they're slowing down.'

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

Valuation of Heaven

For Sale, just to find the true value.

'I can't move in with my parents. They moved in with my grandparents.

'My bubble burst!'

"Those days of being able to sell any old c**p have long gone!"

'Home builders' watch the 'Housing starts' chart with excitement

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

UK house prices drop by 1.3%

'Does my boom look big in this?...'

"Ha! Buying a house just so you can live in it. I'll never understand young people."