Property Market Analyst T-Shirts

'Housing shortage, what housing shortage?'

'...how much is this brick?'

'It's a handy household device that helps calculate your negative equity'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

"It'll make such a nice change to talk about something other than house prices going up..."

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.

Great Fire of London - "This could be good news for the property market!"

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

House hunting is cruel.

Repossessions

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

Shoe house.

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"So, how's that 'Tiny House living' working for you so far?"

"This article says that the number of elderly living with their children is rising..."

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

Scientist with model of a house in a test tube.

'With so many children, I can't afford to live in a choo anymore.'

Affordable housing

Estate Agents.

Estate Agent: Houses with Hedge....Houses Without Hedge

'I can't move in with my parents. They moved in with my grandparents.

'Inflation allows you to live in a more expensive neighbourhood without even moving.'

'My bubble burst!'

'This is about all we have in your price range!'

UK house prices drop by 1.3%

'Home builders' watch the 'Housing starts' chart with excitement